Labels don't matter. Whether your abuser was a narcissist, a psychopath, has borderline personality disorder, or is just your run of the mill toxic person, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how their behaviors have affected you. It doesn't matter why they do what they do, what matters is that it was done to you. So stop trying to figure them out, stop trying to understand them. Have they tried understanding you?
Narcissistic abusers condition victims to blame themselves, isolate from others, and believe that they deserve cruel treatment. When we learn more about narcissistic abuse and how to find safety, we are better able to see through the abuser’s manipulations and begin our journey to safety.
Because of the self-centered nature of abusers with narcissistic tendencies, victims are sucked into a universe where the abusive partner is at the center, and their life becomes about appeasing him.
If you are ready to heal you must learn about yourself, your childhood trauma, learn how to set boundaries, understand your accountability, and most importantly heal the trauma. What we didn't know did hurt us, so now we must learn to protect ourselves so this never happens again.